


"Little Lion Man"

by ExistencialCrisis15



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Akaashi Keiji Needs a Hug, Amnesia, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxious Akaashi Keiji, Concussions, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Head Injury, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentioned Haiba Lev, Mentioned Kuroo Tetsurou, Mentioned Sawamura Daichi, Mentioned Tsukishima Kei, No Smut, Oblivious Bokuto Koutarou, Worry, but it's not his fault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:34:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27536110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExistencialCrisis15/pseuds/ExistencialCrisis15
Summary: Bokuto gets amnesia from a head injury and doesn't remember who Akaashi is. Will he remember? What will Akaashi do if he doesn't?Btw they are pretty OOC I think in this.Please be kind I've got no beta and I don't usually post fanfiction. This is also my first one for Haikyuu. If people like it I might post more though.I will come back and edit chapters at a later date, for now everything is just posted as is.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji & Bokuto Koutarou, Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 1
Kudos: 33





	1. "Tear in my heart"

**Author's Note:**

> These are more "parts" than full "chapters" this story is fairly short but I hope you like it. I'm not here for critique, if you don't like it feel free to click away. I just really liked this story and figured I'd share it.
> 
> All Chapter titles and the work title are names of songs that sort of relate also.

“Shit, Bokuto’s down for the count” Daichi says from the sidelines as he was watching the match between Fukurodani and Nekoma.

“He’s out cold” someone says as the team is crowding around now.

Akaashi was just standing stunned from the moment Bokuto had fallen out of the air.

“He must have hit his head” someone is yelling but Akaashi’s eyes are on Lev who’s standing looking worried on the other side of the net. 

Oh he should be worried. Akaashi isn’t usually quick to anger, he can’t be dealing with someone like Bokuto but his blood is boiling. Then his eyes meet Kuroo’s who is walking over and before he can even process a rational thought he’s yelling. “This is you’re fault! You let him play and he doesn’t know what he’s doing! You-”

“He’s awake!” 

Daichi is walking onto the court too and the other games have stopped to see the commotion. “I’m sure he’s going to be fine, I got a pretty nice hit to the head and I’m okay” Daichi says putting an arm over Akaashi’s shoulders and steering him away from the Nekoma players.

“Bokuto san, do you remember what happened?” someone is asking him as Akaashi walks over.

“Uh, no” the boy says looking around confused, “um, where am I?”

When Daichi looks over Akaashi looks horrified but before he can say anything he is turning away.

“Don’t you dare fucking follow me!” Akaashi yells at the people that try to stop him and they all back off because none of them not even his own team mates have heard him curse like that. He’s not sure why he’s panicking so hard about this, Bokuto will get his memories back, surely he will but he can’t stand that blank look. He doesn’t recognize him, doesn’t remember any of the things they’ve done together. They are essentially strangers and Akaashi feels so incredibly alone.

“Hey!” suddenly Bokuto’s voice is loud right behind Akaashi and the boy jumps. “I snuck away while they were calling an ambulance!” he says with a big grin.

“You should go back, you need to go to the hospital” Akaashi says trying to not let his voice shake.

“I feel fine, I mean my head hurts a bit but other than that I’m okay for now, you seem to need someone though, even though you ran away all angry like” Bokuto sits next to him, “so what are we then, what’s got you so upset?”

Akaashi is stunned, of course this is the same Bokuto he knows and some how that makes this all the more upsetting, “I- um- I’m not upset, I’m just mad, at Lev, he hurt you and-”

Bokuto just starts laughing and Akaashi looks over confused, “I don’t think that’s true but whatever I guess.” Bokuto looks down at his lap getting serious, “I really don’t know who you are but it makes me happy that you are so worried about me, even though I don’t remember anything I know that there is someone that really cares about me, I don’t really remember any of my own feelings but I know that you must have been really special to me okay, so let’s stick to-” Suddenly the spiker collapses forward grabbing his head, “ah- ah!”

“Bokuto!” Akaashi grabs him and pulls his head into his lap getting him to lay down, “you really need to get back so you can go to the hospital.”

“I don’t want to Akaashi I’m scared” the boy mumbles pulling on his hair.

Akaashi’s eyes go wide, for a moment he wonders if he’s remembering but doesn’t have time to ponder long deciding he needs to call out for help. Kuroo is the first to show up cautiously staying back before Akaashi gives him permission to help because he’s never seen the other boy so mad. 

“Who are you?” Bokuto asks quietly as they help him down the hill back to the gym.

“Just your best friend ever Kuroo” the Nekoma team captain answers, “everything is going to be fine okay.” The last part Akaashi can tell is for him.

Bokuto is crying when the ambulance arrives and Akaashi could almost find it in himself to be annoyed at the boy’s childishness if he wasn’t so worried. 

Bokuto doesn’t remember anyone but he had said his name like that. Akaashi had asked and no one had said it to him. He supposes it makes sense, all of Bokuto’s memories are still in there, he’ll probably remember them at random or something. Akaashi has no idea how amnesia or head injuries work.

Because Bokuto basically begs them Akaashi is allowed to go in the ambulance with him. The poor boy is pretty terrified and who could blame him. He doesn’t remember anything, probably won’t even recognize his parents when they get to the hospital to see him. His memories of most normal things are pretty fuzzy too. He had mostly been scared before because “what is an ambulance?” he had asked literally after the paramedics had arrived.

The paramedic that isn’t driving had asked him a bunch of questions about what he remembers and they said even though it seems bad they won’t really be able to tell the extent of the injury until they do some tests at the hospital. They also found it strange that he didn’t remember Akaashi or what an ambulance was and that the time period of his memory loss is inconsistent.

Despite the smile on the paramedic’s face Akaashi was worried, the guy seemed to be hiding something, is it possible that it’s serious and Bokuto might not get his memories back? It can’t be... Akaashi can’t even think about it. No.


	2. "Little Talks"

At the hospital they did a CT scan and an EKG before Bokuto’s parents even arrived. The boy was sitting rocking back and forth on the hospital bed in an intense game of Go Fish with Akaashi when they finally got there.

“Mom? Dad?” Bokuto looks confused when he sees them and stops rocking putting his cards down.

“Son! Oh my goodness, are you okay?” his mom runs over but stops short of tackling him in a hug seeing him lean away, “sorry, you’re probably pretty overwhelmed and confused, they said you had amnesia.” She hesitantly asks if she can sit on the bed near him and he nods looking down guiltily.

“Sorry” he mumbles, “I- I kinda remember you but your different I just-”

“It’s okay son, you don’t need to apologize and we heard Akaashi was keeping you company” his dad says coming over and putting his hands on the boys shoulders. “Even though you don’t remember him at all you still seem close as ever.”

“I feel like I’ve known him forever even though I don’t remember even meeting him” Bokuto says to his dad silently asking his parents to tell him about the mysterious boy who was crying because he doesn’t remember him.

“Well you basically have” his mother says, “you two have known each other since before you could walk.”

“Really, so we’re like brothers!” Bokuto says excitedly.

Akaashi nearly chokes on the air he’s breathing in and starts coughing causing everyone to stop and look at him worried. “Sorry, sorry, I’m fine” Akaashi chokes out trying to stop the tears in his eyes from falling, he can’t keep freaking out about this, if Bokuto remembers him everything will be okay and even if he doesn’t, they will still figure it out. Bokuto still cares about him even if he doesn’t remember him he ran to him the minute he could. Surely that means something right.

But what if- No- but he just said they were like brothers. Akaashi knows the boy is still trying to figure everything out and he’s confused but he doesn’t like that, is that all he thinks of him right now. Just a friend, a brother, someone very close but nothing more. It’s like Akaashi’s worst nightmare coming true, he’s losing him, he’s-

“Akaashi” Bokuto’s voice snaps him out of his panic, “so not brothers then” he’s pondering looking sadly at the boy.

“No no I just choked on my own spit, I’m okay, it’s not about that” Akaashi quickly tries to remedy but somehow the boy can still see through all of his lies and he feels so lost as well.

He really just doesn’t want to push Bokuto into anything he doesn’t want. Not that he could say anything in front of the boys parents anyway, neither of them are even out to anyone. They have been dating for three years in complete secrecy, the only people that know they’re dating are Kuroo, Kenma and Tsukishima more recently found out because of Bokuto running his big mouth too much.

Finally Akaashi realizes why he’s panicking so much. Sure Bokuto seems like the same person but what if he doesn’t like him like that anymore. What if he never gets his memories back and before Akaashi can get him to love him again the boy falls for someone else. What if even when he does he just decides he doesn’t want to be with him anymore because of their time apart making him realize he’d be happier without him.

“Since you two are here now I’d like to go out for a bit, I need to use the restroom” Akaashi says finally. He needs to get away so that he can properly panic. He just wants to be alone.

Finally locked in a stall in the bathroom Akaashi can freely let his tears fall. He hardly feels like he should be allowed to cry here, in a place like this. People are losing parents, spouses, children to horrible diseases and such. He’s just whining over essentially a breakup.

“You know it’s not nice to keep secrets” Bokuto’s face is poking under the door and Akaashi freezes wide eyed. 

He blinks quickly unsure if what he is seeing is real. “Are you serious? I could’ve had my pants down.”

“I mean if we knew each other in diapers I’m sure we’ve seen each others pants down” Bokuto says pulling his head out of the stall and standing up. He steadies himself against the door. “I have no idea what you won’t tell me, won’t you please tell me, I don’t remember anything, it’s only fair, how could you do this to someone who has amnesia, you’re so mean Akaashi-san.”

He sounds so normal, like there is nothing wrong but Akaashi feels like his own world is shattering. Of course it’s unfair to keep this from Bokuto. Of course he should tell the boy about their past and let him make his own decisions about it but Akaashi is so scared. He feels so alone, the person who usually helps him is standing outside the door and doesn’t even know who he is. How is he supposed to feel about that?!

“Akaashi, I’m still here, even if I’m different, even if I don’t remember anything, I’m still your friend right, you’re not alone” Bokuto says and Akaashi wonders if he just said something out loud or something. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through but please, lets try to work together-”

Akaashi suddenly opens the stall door still trying to wipe the tears away. “No this isn’t right, I’m supposed to be comforting you, not the other way around” he says but when he pulls Bokuto into a hug it’s definitely Bokuto holding him together but the boy doesn’t say anything about it.

Bokuto’s mind isn’t completely blank, at this point though it doesn’t matter whether he remembers Akaashi or not though, he remembers that he loves him. He doesn’t know how though. Doesn’t know what either of their feelings really are or what they mean but they are hurting the other boy and that is pretty upsetting to him.

Neither of them know what to do with the other. There is so much confusion and no one is willing to try to resolve it. Bokuto is struck with his own fear that somehow this will ruin their bond whatever that was. Feeling the closest with Akaashi than anyone right now the thought of losing him scares him and he holds him that much tighter.


	3. "Hum Hallelujah"

The doctor says that his memories should return soon, within 24 hours most likely. If they don’t return within 48 hours then it’s unlikely they ever will. The longer from the initial injury that the memory loss lasts, the less likely that it will be recovered and so with every moment that Bokuto doesn’t jump up hugging him and saying he remembers him Akaashi gets more anxious.

They said the concussion wasn’t actually to serious as far as concussions go and that he will just definitely have to take a break from vollyball for a while. But besides his memory he will definitely make a full recovery.

How should Akaashi handle it if he really never remembers? Should he just try to take it slow and let him fall in love with him again, would telling him be selfish? No surely he’s already figured out that that is why he’s acting so weird. Bokuto may have a concussion but he’s not stupid. So maybe he doesn’t want to be with him anymore. Maybe Akaashi has been too weird and he doesn’t want to date him now.

“You’re spacing out again Akaashi” Bokuto says almost sounding irritated.

“Sorry I’m just tired” Akaashi tries to say but Bokuto throws his arms up in frustration.

“If you lie to me this much when I don’t have amnesia I don’t know how we are even friends!” he yells immediately regretting it when he sees the look on the boys face, “sorry, sorry I know this is a difficult situation.”

“No, you’re right, this is a difficult situation and I shouldn’t be doing this to you and lying, I should probably go, I can’t stay the night here anyway” Akaashi says.

Bokuto’s attitude immediately flips and he grabs onto Akaashi’s arm. “The nurse said you could stay, no I’m sorry, please don’t go!” he pleads tears springing to his eyes and Akaashi is stuck.

For once Akaashi feels a normal reaction from himself and just sighs, “okay, I’ll stay, don’t worry about it okay I deserve to get yelled at.”

After a while of silence between the two Akaashi speaks again, “I don’t usually lie to you, by the way” he says feeling guilty about earlier, “but when I do you can always tell.”

“Well I’m glad I’m not friends with some sort of pathological liar” Bokuto says with a grin squeezing Akaashi’s hand that he’s holding, “but really thinking about it, even if you were I think I’d still want to be friends with you even now.” He hopes that that makes Akaashi feel better since they’ve both been struggling this whole time. What is he even supposed to do?

If the day was long the night was longer. It takes 3 hours to realize that for some reason the dark is the cause of the pain that keeps hitting Bokuto.

Akaashi has to hit the nurse call button 4 times and despite them offering pain medicine Bokuto refuses. Akaashi is just glaring at him as the fourth nurse walks away with a shrug since she’d been told to just make sure he was okay and leave.

When the 5th wave of pain hits the boy Akaashi just turns on the light. He crawls onto the bed and pulls Bokuto into his chest rocking him until the pain ceases again. “You really need to get some sleep, if you’ll just let them give you something-”

“No, please just, just stay like this” Bokuto pleads arms wrapped around Akaashi’s waist where he slid down to lay.

“You feel okay right now?”

“Yeah” Bokuto says closing his eyes.

“Okay then I guess, but if it happens again I’m getting a nurse and they are giving you something for the pain” Akaashi insists. He can’t stand seeing the other boy like that. He’s not sure how much more he can take and he knows Bokuto can’t take much more himself.

To both of their surprise though Bokuto drifts off peacefully with his head in Akaashi’s lap. The younger boy can’t seem to sleep himself though and simply sits there petting through the other boys hair for most of the night.

“I can’t believe you had to go and forget about me” Akaashi says sadly to the sleeping boy, “I wonder if you’ll remember when you wake up, I wonder if you’d be happier not remembering?”

When morning comes and a nurse comes in she takes one look at Akaashi and sighs. 

“You know just because he’s the sick one doesn’t mean that you don’t need to take care of yourself as well, how can you expect to help him recover if you run yourself into the ground?”

“I’m sorry, I just- I was worried” Akaashi says quietly.

“I know, it’s stressful when someone you love is hurt or ill, you should sleep though” the nurse says, “Bokuto wake up, your lover boy needs to sleep as well” she says leaning down by him, “come on, I know your awake, your vitals rose 5 minutes ago.”

“That’s not fair” Bokuto whines squeezing Akaashi tighter and then stretching out.

“You don’t want your boyfriend to get sick do you, tell him to sleep and I’ll bring you some breakfast” the nurse says.

“Okay, will you bring extra pudding like with dinner?” Bokuto asks sitting up slowly.

“Sure thing” she answers and comes over checking the vitals on the machine and writing some stuff down, “I’ll be back in a bit with your breakfast, you’ll be discharged around noon after the doctor checks you out.”

“Okay, thank you” Bokuto says politely and once she’s left he turns to Akaashi, “like she said, you need sleep.”

“I- okay” Akaashi sighs. Bokuto gets him to lay down and he feels pretty content with the boy petting his hair. Some how he drifts off and doesn’t wake up until right as Bokuto is getting discharged.

Bokuto’s parents offer to drop Akaashi off since his parents are at work and can’t come pick him up. He doesn’t live to far away and could’ve walked from Bokuto’s but they insist and drop him off right outside his house. He waves to Bokuto who is hanging out the window as they drive away, then he's alone. Being actually alone for a while gives him a bit too much time to think.


	4. "Like Real People Do"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the ending. It's kinda short. I hope you like it though.

A knock on his bedroom door startles Akaashi out of thought as he was crying into a mug of hot chocolate. He doesn’t really like hot chocolate but Bokuto does and he’d usually steal a few sips just to annoy the boy. He hadn’t heard his parents cars pull in and he usually would as they would both get home around the same time and come stomping into the house so who was at his door? He doesn’t have much time to panic though when Bokuto bursts in.

“How did you get in here!?” Akaashi yells in shock.

“I have a key” Bokuto says tilting his head to the side, “you don’t look happy to see me.”

“I- Bokuto, what are you doing here?” Akaashi is kind of in shock, did Bokuto remember that he had a key, does he have his memories back.

“I just wanted to be with you still, I just- don’t want to be alone, and I don’t want you to be alone... Akaashi san.”

Akaashi is so confused, Bokuto sounds weird, different, it’s scaring him. “Okay, you want some hot chocolate?”

“Sure!” Bokuto smiles and takes the cup from Akaashi happily sipping on it, “why won’t you tell me about our past?”

Akaashi is taken off guard by the question even though he should’ve been expecting it at this point. “Because-” he hesitates, “because I’m scared” he answers vaguely. This is feeling less and less fair to keep hiding things though.

“Of what?” Bokuto asks gulping down the rest of the hot chocolate faster than he usually would.

“Well- mostly of hurting you I guess” Akaashi answers, he knows he can't lie and he can't refuse, “but also of you deciding you’d rather not be friends anymore because you don’t feel the same way anymore.”

“Akaashi, like I told you, I’ve always loved you and I always will” Bokuto says looking sad.

“But what if you don’t- wait what?”

“Akaashi I already got my memories back” Bokuto says.

“What- When?” 

“This morning, when I woke up, I remembered everything” he answers.

“Why- why didn’t you tell me?” Akaashi asks shakily, he’s confused. Why was Bokuto pretending not to remember? Did he do something wrong?

“Can you stop doing that please, everything is fine now” Bokuto says scooting closer to his boyfriend, “I really wanted you to tell me we were dating, now I just want to know why you were hiding it.”

“Forget about that, you made me think you really weren’t going to get your memories back you ass hole!” Akaashi says trying to hide how upset he is with anger. However he’s also just incredibly relieved and dives into Bokuto’s arms when the boy opens them for him, “please tell me you told your parents before you ran off.”

“Of course I did, but for real, why didn’t you tell me we were dating when I was all, I don’t remember anything?” Bokuto pushes Akaashi away to look him in the eyes.

Akashi looks down guiltily. “I don’t know, I didn’t want to force it on you, what if you that didn’t grow up with me doesn’t love me like that? What if you didn’t want to even be friends with me then? What if-” he's starting to ramble when Bokuto cuts him off.

“Hey, hey, that was never going to happen” Bokuto says pulling the boy back into his chest now. “I was just so confused, I saw this person who cared about me and was hurting and I had no idea what it was about and it was so frustrating” he explains, “I wish you would have just told me and then we could’ve talked about it, you’ve never been good at working through these things on your own.”

“You don’t have a lot of room to talk” Akaashi mumbles into Bokuto’s chest, “I’m just glad you’re back.”

“Akaashi, you need to realize, I never left” Bokuto says, “I’ll always be here for you.”

“Even when you have amnesia and don’t remember me.”

It’s not exactly a question but Bokuto feels inclined you respond, “of course, even if I have no idea who you are, I always know I love you.”

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it, comment or leave kudos if you like it and I will start posting more. I actually have a lot of fanfiction written and just living on my laptop. If people want to see it though I'll share.  
> 


End file.
